Yeah, we got baggage

June 22, 2008

Filed in: Alaska, The Home Front

Way back in February, when I was just beginning to contemplate the idea of tagging an Alaska trip onto the family wedding in Napa that’s now upcoming this very week, I mentioned the idea to my friend M.

M is perfect. Literally. She is a size zero, an understated-yet-stylish dresser, a mad shopper, a person who has decorated her large home in an important community (yeah, she actually fled Swellville for Evenswellerville) so beautifully and so thoroughly that she is now starting a business to help other slobs along the path to domestic enlightenment.

Her daughters are beautiful and accomplished; her husband is charming and funny and brings home a large paycheck. I have never one single time in my entire life seen so much as a speck of dirt in, on or anywhere near her house, person or offspring.

You would think I could stand to take some advice from someone like that. But nooooooo. M told me flat out I was nuts to think about combining trips. “There is no way you could pack for those together!” she exclaimed in true horror. “A wedding? And Alaska? You’re crazy. I would never do that, not in a million years.”

Poor M, I thought, nice gal, but you know, some people are so constrained by these petty practical concerns. M needs to lighten up. Sheesh.

Flash forward five months, and I am nearing apoplexy at the thought of all the packing that’s got to go on in the next 72 hours. Seriously, the left side of my face started twitching yesterday morning and hasn’t yet stopped. Something tells me it won’t till they seal the door on the plane, at which time it’s too late to do anything more.

Napa wedding means 2 dressy-yet-casual outfits (Californians are so annoying.  I mean, is it dressy or isn’t it? Casual dressy is just…impossible) times 4 people, two of whom are growing so fast their dress clothes should really be rented rather than bought.

There are things to be picked up from the tailor and the dry cleaners. There are loafers to be dragged from the backs of closets and polished. Belts? Uh…yeah, belts. I’m sure I’ll get to that between now and Thursday morning at 2 a.m.

Then on the other hand, there’s Alaska. Hiking boots, I need to find 8 hiking boots that still fit and are properly waterproofed. Rain pants. Don’t get me started on rain pants. Who owns enough rain pants for everyone in the entire family? Everyone, it seems, except us.

Polypropylene, the wonder fabric that costs as much as spun gold? We all supposedly need entire outfits made of polypro. Then the little things, emergency whistles that tie onto our zipper pulls and compasses and binoculars and bug spray and bottles of contact lens solution small enough to avoid confiscation by security. Gum for the plane, batteries for our various electronic amusements, the list goes on and on.

In the face of this onslaught, all I can say is, M, you were so right! I apologize for being smug! Will you come help? M….? Are you there?