Swellville, You’re Killing Me

April 10, 2009

Filed in: The Home Front, The Way We Live Now

It’s irony week here in Swellville, which, ironically, coincides with Holy Week. Last year I went all penitent; this year, the you’re-gonna-be-sorry karma is coming to me. To wit:

1) There’s been a pretty much steady stream of teacher hate going around town since the beginning of the budget season, crescendoing these last couple of weeks as we all wait to see if the teachers will be willing to give some kind of concession to prevent layoffs/classes being cancelled etc.

Normally I do not get the deep antipathy of the average taxpayer toward the average public school teacher. I just have never understood it, the hatred some people seem to have for teachers. For the most part, I have loved my kids’ teachers and think they should be compensated like normal human beings, but yes, even I am waiting for concessions and will be mighty pissed and disappointed if they don’t come.

So! With all that happening, I made the mistake Wednesday of attending the PTA meeting at the elementary school. And guess what job I got stuck with? Writing a little ditty for the Teacher’s Appreciation Lunch, just a short song, sung-to-the-tune-of-whatever, telling them how much we love them. You know, “Swellville teachers, you’re the one! You make learning lots of fun!” Etc.

I have been having some fun thinking of which songs and what lyrics I might choose if those concessions don’t come through. How about something punky? Like The Clash: “Should you stay or should you go?” Stones? “I see the school yard and I want to paint it black.” Etc.

2) I never understood or cared to understand a single thing about taxes, beyond that they need to be paid and that, in some vague way, the state ones at least go towards our schools and roads and bridges and a bunch of social programs that don’t affect me personally but are probably good for society as a whole.

But the deeper I get into this whole public-school-funding mess, the more of a wonk I’m becoming. And this year, like a lot of other school supporters, I’ve really come to realize that the two stupid income tax cuts Massachusetts got because stupid Mitt Romney was stupidly thinking of running for president and wanted to appear sufficiently Republican have effectively gutted public education and need to be revoked.

So yeah, there I am, advocating for raising taxes in the middle of an economic meltdown, and what happens? T and I get a notice in the mail (twenty-four single-sided pages of print! Hello IRS? I have some money-saving tips for you all, not to mention planet-saving) that we’re being audited. No good deed goes unpunished.

Next year, I’m going back to my Holy Week gastro-cleanse in hopes of warding off the various trolls of the world…