July 4—tick tick, boom boom

July 05, 2010

Filed in: Alaska, Hawaii, Kansas, North Dakota, The Way We Live Now

Happy bday, USA.

I celebrated by standing alone (don’t ask) for three hours watching a hometown parade in a town that was not my hometown. The barrier to entry for this particular parade was charmingly low—if you owned a motor vehicle, preferably some kind of large truck, and/or could reliably gather as few as three or four of your compatriots in art, exercise, civics, politics or local commerce (like, say, the local nail salon), you were in.

My personal favorite: The septic truck adorned with vaguely threatening handmade posters that said, on the one side, “Let me get my hose up in your ‘business,’” and, on the other, “Are you on my sh*t list?” If you had more fun than that this Fourth (but how could you?), really, I don’t want to know. 

So, the Fourth of July. This time last year, the 50th State pit crew was getting off the plane from our unsettled trip to North Dakota.

Two years ago, exactly, we were getting on a plane, up and off and over to see the beautiful wonderful magical bears in Alaska.

This year...uh, things aren’t looking so good.

Even firstborn son, who’s pretty much not interested in family vacations of any kind any more (with maybe the exception of Hawaii), has said not once but twice now, “Aren’t we going to Kansas? Don’t we have to do Kansas this summer?”

Well, yes we do. If we’re going to stay “on schedule.” If there ever was a schedule. We’re now looking, rather alarmingly, at 14 months before my 50th birthday, 14 months to get to both Kansas and Hawaii. It’ll be a bit of a pinch, but we’re going to get there.

Right? Right?