Asshead in Alaska

November 27, 2007

Filed in: Alaska, The Middle Ages

Do you have a wild and crazy friend from college? Someone who was way, way naughtier than you were (however bad that may or may not have been)? Someone with or from whom you were almost infected, arrested, addicted, ejected, indicted or all of the above?

Me too. Aren’t they great? For me, those friends are a such a solace, living as I do among all the good girls who grew up to be toned and tidy wives. Sure, they had fun in college too, but only with boys who would later go on to manage great sums of money. Lucky them. 

Because I went to what was at the time a party school, I’m lucky enough to have had in my life a couple people who fall into the super-super-wild category. The wildest and bestest of that bunch I have lost touch with, I fear permanently.

But then there’s M, who comes a very close second.

I think of M frequently because his painting hangs on the wall smack in front of my desk, so on a writing day that’s not going well I can be staring at that thing 3 - 4 hours straight. Good thing I still love it. Also M figures prominently into my 50th State project because he was my escort for the two wondrous if murderously hungover hours I spent in Arkansas.

He and I could not at this moment be living lives more different than we are, but even so M took time out from planning his wedding (to a woman quite literally half his age in a country far, far away from Swellville) to send his thoughts on Alaska.

And because I’m deep into reading Kerouac’s unedited version of On the Road, I’m going to fling at you M’s comments on said 50th state without my usual prissy copy edits. Ready? Here goes: 

AK background , boots on the ground , intel....  The Record salmon ( king ? Shanook ? ) was caught on the Kenai river. it came in at 97lbs and took 11hrs to land.  why do i know this?  Cause when i fished the Kenai ( cant miss it on the Kenai penninsula that hangs , like a strawberry , beneath Anchorage.... Also home to Homer, Ak , home of whats her name solo folkie/ rock sanger ... oh , Jewel. )
i saw it hanging on the wall of the car dealership owner who caught it.  Also - EVERYTHING is big there.The mnt goats the fish the bear the guns the nite time the........ vista`s .  EVERYTHING.  catch the salmon in the middle of July just after the Native indians get their alotment and let the rest carry on up from the mouth of the river.

To this I have nothing to add except mazel tov to M and to those poor doubly-fished salmon.